You Stay Classy, NFL Draft

Now that 32 young men have had their name announced and received a free hat and jersey, it's time for America to build them up and tear them to shreds. We will learn their strengths, weaknesses, personalities, and how they will fit their new system and team. But until all that tedious factual evidence is available, let's make some presumptions on the teams that had the golden touch, and those with the kiss of death, in the first round of this year's NFL Draft.

Winners  

Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Texas A&M WR Mike Evans
Evans is clearly the best receiver in this year's draft. When watching A&M games this past season, Evans jumped off the screen almost as often as his superstar QB, Johnny Manziel. He may not have the greatest speed, but Evans has tremendous size and leaping ability, which bailed Johnny Football out of numerous bad throws. If Tampa Bay is going to contend in their division, they need to put up points with an inexperienced quarterback. Evans' ability to adjust his routes and react to the ball in flight will help cover some of the inaccuracies and shortcomings of second year quarterback, Mike Glennon.  

Detroit Lions-North Carolina TE Eric Ebron 
I know that the majority of Lions' fans absolutely hate this pick. I can imagine nightmares of Mike Williams and Charles Rogers going through the minds of Detroit fans as they slept last night, but I honestly believe this pick will work in their favor. Ebron had 62 receptions for 973 yards last season as a Tight End at UNC. Ebron can also line up outside, which can be invaluable to Detroit following the loss of Nate Burleson to Cleveland, and Ryan Broyles' inability to stay on the field. The main argument most detractors put out is that Detroit already has two Tight Ends that see regular playing time, and they just signed one (Brandon Pettigrew) to an extension in the offseason. I can't deny it seems Detroit has overloaded the Tight End position. But until Pettigrew finds a chisel for the granite that his hands are encased in, and Joseph Fauria decides he wants to catch passes outside of the red zone, the Lions will need a versatile receiver to take pressure off of Calvin Johnson.  

Dallas Cowboys-Notre Dame OT Zack Martin
I can't believe it myself, but the Cowboys actually made a smart pick with Martin. It seemed that the universe was clamoring for Jerry Jones to pull the trigger and draft Johnny Manziel, which would have caused to internet to instantaneously explode. With Tony Romo coming off two back surgeries, Big D needed to worry more about keeping him upright than replacing him in the future. It wasn't the flashiest pick made last night, but it made the most sense from a football standpoint.

 Green Bay Packer-Alabama S Ha Ha Clinton-Dix
Not only does the Alabama safety win for best name in the draft, he also may have filled the largest hole for a team that looks to contend next season. Since the departure of Charles Woodson, Green Bay has not had a play-maker in the secondary of their 3-4 Defense. During that time span, the safety play has been particularly atrocious, as Green Bay's safeties totaled zero interceptions last season. Clinton-Dix will be a welcome replacement for M.D. Jennings, as well as a versatile weapon for Defensive Coordinator, Dom Capers.  

Tennessee Titans-Michigan OT Taylor Lewan
My reasoning for this pick is simple: I believe Lewan is the best offensive lineman in this draft. Michigan has had a storied history of producing quality offensive tackles, and I see no reason why Lewan will not continue this tradition. I was shocked to see him fall out of the top 10. Enough of all this sappy positivity. Let's see which teams fell flat on their faces last night.

Losers 

Denver Broncos-Ohio State DB Bradley Roby
I can understand the Broncos' need to improve their secondary after finishing 27th in the league for passing yards allowed per game. They also lost Dominique Rodger-Cromartie and future Hall-of-Famer, Champ Bailey in the offseason. While the position may have been correct, I don't believe the player is the right fit. Roby has a slight build (5'11", 194 lbs) and seems to lack the mental toughness to take on running backs and tight ends in the open field. When watching Ohio State games this past season, I saw Roby diving at ankles, rather than attempting form tackles. Roby does have the speed to stay with NFL receivers, but I cannot get past the lack of a physical presence.

New England Patriots-Florida DT Dominique Easley
The draft is normally where the Patriots make the most impact during the offseason. Typically New England would trade out of the first round, and accumulate multiple picks in the later rounds. I have a feeling they will regret not following this pattern after drafting Easley. I am a firm believer that college players with injury problems do not suddenly shed their fragility once drafted. Easley has had a multitude of injuries throughout his career at Florida, including a torn ACL. I have a hard time seeing the logic behind using a first round pick on a lineman with knee problems.  

Minnesota Vikings-UCLA LB Anthony Barr, Louisville QB Teddy Bridgewater
While my biggest opposition in the draft is Bridgewater, I also take issue with Barr. I believe Barr could be a decent player, just not in the Minnesota system. The Vikings run a base 4-3 defense, and Barr is predominantly a pass rusher from the linebacker position, more suited for a 3-4. Unless they plan on shifting Barr to a defensive end position, his talent will most likely be wasted in Minnesota. One can argue the decision to draft Anthony Barr, yet I cannot understand picking Teddy Bridgewater. The Vikings will be playing the next two seasons at TCF Bank Stadium, which is an outdoor stadium. This would not be such an issue had Bridgewater not already confessed that cold weather negatively affected his pro day, which was held in a dome. Beyond the cold weather aspect, Bridgewater does not pass the eye test. When watching his game film I see a significant lack of arm strength and accuracy. Teddy may be an upgrade over Matt Cassel or Christian Ponder, but he will not be able to save this franchise from their recent woes.

No matter the ranking or stock of a particular prospect, all 32 teams can now go into the second round of the draft with a level of optimism for the future. Only time will tell who will rise to the occasion and who will go down in flames. The important thing to remember is football is finally back, and everybody is undefeated.